Have you ever tried to email a celebrity, I mean a really famous person? Someone like Brad Pitt or Marylyn Manson or Johnny Depp? I have. I make short animated films when I'm not making music. Those films are narrated by singers and there have been times when I've emailed a musician or two, someone you could call a "rock star", to see if they might be interested in narrating one of these films. It's always been a little discouraging when I don't even get a reply. If you've ever sent a fan letter or email to someone of that stature, you know the feeling I'm talking about. It leads you to wondering why these people don't answer their own email. Hell, even bands that could BARELY be considered "minor local celebrities" sometimes feel they are above reading fan mail and responding to it. But the truth is, that there are VERY good reasons why these super famous people are not easy to reach. For one, there is the issue of sheer bulk. I read all of my email, Myspace, Facebook mail, etc.. and it takes at least a couple of hours a day. And I respond to as much of it as possible. Now, I understand that I'm a public person on a certain level and that people are bound to write to me. And I do my very best to read it all and to be available to people who wish to talk to me. It's my way of showing my appreciation to the people who support what I do. So now, knowing how much email I get and how long it takes to deal with , I shudder at the thought of how many emails Justin Timberlake must get everyday.
The fact is, these people simply CAN'T read their fan mail. It's just not physically possible.
There is another reason, too. Stalkers.
Sadly, there are simply people in this world who have crazy ideas about things. David Letterman had been plagued for years by a fan who believed she was his wife. She broke into his house, she stole his car and drove it around town, she violated his privacy and his feeling of safety in his own home. And while he has always been really good at eliciting a good laugh from a difficult situation, I assure it that it gets to be a very creepy and scary feeling when someone who is mentally unstable decides that you are big part of their life and sets out to prove it. Eventually, that woman killed herself. On the air he said something to the extent of, "It is the sad end to a confused life."
Bjork had a stalker as well who killed himself, but not before he sent her an acid bomb! Had it not been intercepted by the police, she could have been disfigured, maimed or even killed! The fact is, that if you are a public person in any capacity, you can become the focus of a confused person who feels that you play a bigger and more personal part of their life than is reasonable. And it gets even creepier when they start to refer to your family members and love ones.
Sadly, I'm presently having such an experience.
The emails started normally enough. She sent a booking request which was really just a veiled attempt to have some sort of personal contact with me. This woman from Austin, Texas quickly started to seem weird when she started to talk about her involvement in cults and began sending me really personal information that seemed out of place in a booking request. She was keen to say she was a published author, but a 5-minute search proved her book was really just a "vanity pressing". In any case, when I realized she was not a legitimate booking agent but rather a love-struck, crazed fan, I politely declined to do the show. And then the truth came out and the love letters began. And when I politely asked her to stop emailing me, the hate mail began as well, schizophrenically interspersed with more love letters. And they just got weirder and weirder. Now she claims I married her when I she was seventeen. I think I'd remember that! I'd like to point out again for the record that I do not know this woman! Well, anyway, normally, I wouldn't publish emails people send me, but since I asked her to stop and she didn't care to, I'm going to guess she wants the attention and won't mind of I share them with you. Perhaps this will give you all a brief window into what we musicians, actors and artists have to deal with from time to time. Honestly, sometimes it makes you want to stop reading emails....
Just one last note... these emails have not been edited in any way (with the exception of some financial information which I changed to "$NNNN"). Also every single email we exchanged is included here so if there are ten posts from her in a row, that means that I did not reply to any of them. There are no emails from me in between them that you are not seeing.
And so it begins.
ello! Fri, August 14, 2009 7:26:34 PM
From: Susan Lee
To: voltairenyc@yahoo.com
My name is Susan. I am a published author and artist working with Lifeworks to have a fundraiser at the Hilton. How much do you want to play?
*********************************
From: voltaire voltaire Subject: Re: ello!
To: "Susan Lee" Date: Sunday, August 16, 2009, 10:58 PM
Susan, What's the date of the event and what city is it in?
Voltaire
**********************************
Re: ello! Mon, August 17, 2009 8:57:16 PM
From: Susan Lee
To: voltaire voltaire
it's going to be in austin. i have it in my calendar for february 12. i thought you guys would be perfect for a little black heart theme. i don't know if you guys remember me, but i talked to your drummer and violinist about my book and doing teamwork at the elysium when you were here in april.
***********************************
From: Susan Lee
Subject: Re: ello!
To: "voltaire voltaire"
Date: Thursday, August 20, 2009, 3:22 PM
Hello Again!
I wanted you to know a little more. I was a child in the foster care system, and have seen many of my friends fall to the streets because they don't have a family. Not many can come out and say they have a book published, so I wanted to do something that promoted opportunity for the youth that are on the streets, and complete a series about my life in the system. People want to know more about it, and support the ambition.
You could promote me with the show or possibly talk with me about getting a grant from the state, promos, and sponsors. There's about six different volumes of grants in the public library or more that have thousands of pages. I can do the footwork for just about anything, as far as gathering info goes. But you're gonna have to tell me what you want and be willing to work with me. Maybe even hire me if that's your forte.
The book is basically a Steven King's version of Lifetime. It is currently on hold for editing purposes. I still think lifetime sucks, but since my ex-husband was trash, and we were in a cult together, I figured it would be a fruitful opportunity.
Keep in touch,
Susan
P.S., When is your next show? We should smoke a blunt together in the backroom.
**********************************
From: voltaire voltaire
Subject: Re: ello!
To: "Susan Lee"
Date: Thursday, August 20, 2009, 8:29 PM
My requirements for a solo acoustic show are thus:
$NNN ( a 50% deposit is required to confirm the show and secure the date. No promotion can begin until a deposit has been paid.)
roundtrip airfare for one to and from NYC
a hotel room for the night of the show.
As for the other stuff... I don't apply to grants, I never have so I have no info to share.
I don't hire writers. I have no need to. I'm not really sure why you would think a singer would need to hire a writer.
And I don't smoke pot.
V
***********************************
From: Susan Lee
Subject: Re: ello!
To: "voltaire voltaire"
Date: Monday, August 24, 2009, 1:32 PM
i'm looking for the whole band. are they the same people and do the same charges apply?
************************************
From: voltaire voltaire
Subject: Re: ello!
To: "Susan Lee"
Date: Tuesday, August 25, 2009, 5:01 AM
NO, it's not necessarily the same people. And the charges are greater. You'd have to fly in 5 people, house them in a hotel and the guarantee would be $NNNN. In other words, it's much more.
v
**************************************
Re: ello!
Thu, August 27, 2009 4:06:48 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts
To: voltaire voltaire
can you give me a total of everything so we can the ball rolling?
***************************************
Re: ello!
Tue, September 8, 2009 2:31:09 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltaire voltaire
hey, i'm not trying to stress you or anything, but it may take a while to get the check. you are right, though, it may be easier if you did the job solo. give me some time. where can i send the check to? and do you have a fax number for paperwork?
****************************************
From: voltaire voltaire
Subject: Re: ello! To: "Susan Lee"
Date: Tuesday, September 8, 2009, 6:57 PM
Sorry, but I have a conflict of interest in Austin. I have two shows booked there as part of a tour (one in fall and one in spring) so I really can't do any other Austin shows for the next 12 months. Sorry about that.
Voltaire
***************************************
Re: ello!
Tue, September 8, 2009 3:56:30 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltaire voltaire
when is your next show? i want to see you!!!
***************************************
Re: ello!
Tue, September 8, 2009 3:59:47 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltaire voltaire
Please?
****************************************
MY BOOK
Mon, September 14, 2009 4:14:19 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: elizabeth.rison@hilton.com Cc: voltairenyc@yahoo.com; Sal Cipolla ; lori rosenthal ; Ben Harman ; will gallagher ; myron smith ; FARZAD ARABPOUR ... more
hey check this out, here is a link to my book. i should be doing dj at the clubs to promote. please buy and forward link. anyone who buys will get an autograph for your support at future events. http://books.barnesandnoble.com/search/results.aspx?WRD=baphomet+by+susan+lee&box=baphomet%20by%20susan%20lee&pos=-1
-susan
****************************************
I Love Voltaire!
Tue, September 15, 2009 5:37:12 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts
To: voltairenyc@yahoo.com
where you at? i wanted you to know that i don't write the news. i only wrote a book because i have been in the cults for almost four years. well, i hope the tours do well. oh, and it would be nice if you did something to show CPS that you were there for me. i'm actually a really cool person, and i find it sad that you degraded me on stage. i was a very suppotive fan and wanted a bit more than just a fuck.
susan
******************************************
Re: ello!
Mon, September 21, 2009 4:45:13 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltaire voltaire
hey look, i want to apologise for being difficult. i'm still your fan and i still think your sexy. i'd like to have you froggy style sometime. i just stopped having guys around after my divorce, and don't want any ogres trying to put their hands on me. and i don't mean that your an ogre, but most men don't know what the fuck they're doing. i also made some fiesta chicken nachos for lunch. Yum! toasty onions and portabella mushrooms on some corn tortilla chips dripping with melted cheese, sour cream, and guacamole! next time i'll send a pic.
-susan
****************************************
festivities
Thu, October 8, 2009 4:37:38 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: will gallagher Cc: mystique282002@yahoo.com; austinschoolofburlesque@yahoo.com; nephandius@hotmail.com; cahnman@hotmail.com; void.machine@yahoo.com; stoney_prox@yahoo.com; jerryjaysaldana@yahoo.com; camponboxeo@yahoo.com; jayburnell@rocketmail.com; bravenec@satx.rr.com; caseycasey420@gmail.com... more
Sorry about the inconvenience, but the masked ball on the 8th at the gothic club Elysium has been canceled and moved to another date and location. Festivities will be on October 31st, 2009, at the on 1640A E. 2nd St. suite 100, Austin, TX 78702. 10% of event proceeds will be forwarded to the Adapt Non-profit Organization. if you are interested in promoting your products or business by providing a game booth, attatch inquiries and resumes, and RSVP by e-mail. i will be reviewing team members on tuesday Oct 13 from 1:00pm- 4:30pm, and friday the 16th at the same times. all potluck providers will recieve a free raffle ticket worth $25 for a chance to win a piece from one of my collections. whoever has a copy of my latest book, Baphomet the Apocalypse, bring it to me at the event and i will sign it for you. please forward e-mail to friends, family, juggalos, jugglettes, and other supporters. AND DON'T FORGET TO WEAR A COSTUME FOR A HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Susan Lee
****************************************
Re: ello!
Wed, October 21, 2009 4:34:47 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltaire voltaire
my love, you make me think like a cat yowling for puss in boots. if you could ever open up that dark heart of yours and practice some kama sutra with me, i promise you'll feel like sweet warm body melting sensation, like softness. i wish i could jump up on your lap, to recieve your warm touch all over my back, and kiss you so that you'd come for more. your are like a flower blooming on a summer day, waiting for a butterfly to collect your honey. for you, i can be that butterfly, but you will have to kiss my wings and love them. those bumble bees are many, and may also collect, but their wings come with stingers, and when they sting, they lose their flight.
p.s. come to the party.
**************************************
violinist
Sun, October 25, 2009 3:55:20 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltairenyc@yahoo.com
you know you violinist tried to cop a feel on me after i took a pic. fuck that guy. all i wanted was you in the first place, but you can't understand a woman's problems, because i got attacked by a rapist fucking stung with pioson ivy because i'm wood romping belly dancing, tarot card reader with a published book and a halloween party to fundraise so that i could see you again! i want to go to your next show and wear and out fit, but i know all you're going to do is treat me like shit and make me feel miserable because i paid for your ticket! i expect you to do something about that jerk and your masogonistic attitude!
***************************************
Re: violinist
Sun, October 25, 2009 8:17:38 PM
From: voltaire voltaire
View Contact To: Susan Lee
Number 1) I don't know you. If I met you at a show, I don't remember it because I meet LOTS of people.
Number 2) I'm married and have no interest in receiving emails like the one you sent me a few days ago which was very sexually suggestive.
Number 3) I am DEFINITELY not interested in receiving any email attachments from you or anyone else, especially when they are 17 MEGS!!!!
Number 4) I have no idea what you're talking about. I did not see what happened between you and a musician that I hired so I can't speak for either of you.
Lastly, I am not interested in demeaning you or anyone else and I am certainly not interested in hearing your paranoid ideas about it.
I like to believe that I'm pleasant to the people who buy tickets to come to my shows and I appreciate that they are interested in what I do. I do not get to know them personally for the most part. You have made it your point to send me very personal emails. I am not interested in having a personal relationship with you.
I'm sorry for your troubles, and I wish you all of the best. But leave me out of it.
PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME OR COMING TO MY SHOWS.
Voltaire
**************************************
Re: violinist
Thu, October 29, 2009 8:28:15 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltaire voltaire
look man, i'm sorry i really have been hurt very badly and it means a lot to me to talk to you about it. i get touchy when men try to put thier hands on me. you inspired me, and so, i thought it would help. i still think you're awesome and you break my heart. i have a picture dedicated to you at the art show called the vampire prince, i can't express it any other way.
****************************************
forgive me
Fri, October 30, 2009 12:52:29 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltairenyc@yahoo.com
i wanted to say that i loved you. your eyes, you nose, you jewish hat, and your beautiful voice. i'm sorry that it is nothing that i can share with you, but i will always care for that warm arm. i've listened to your story, and i wish that i could be there for you to help you feel better. i have had similar predicaments. someone told me that when in love people do stupid things. please don't hate me for it.
sorry, susan
****************************************
(I PERFORMED AT THE ELYSIUM ON NOVEMBER 5TH. IT WAS A SHOW I WAS BOOKED TO DO DIRECTLY BY THE CLUB THAT DID NOT INVOLVE HER. I EXPLAINED TO THEM THAT I HAD A WORRISOME SITUATION WITH A MISGUIDED FAN OR STALKER AND ASKED SHE NOT BE PRESENT. I WAS CONCERNED FOR MY SAFETY AND THE SAFETY OF MY WIFE. I WAS TOLD THAT SUSAN LEE CAME TO THE CLUB AND WAS TURNED AWAY. SHE HAD AN ADVANCED TICKET AND WAS GIVEN A REFUND. SHE LATER EMAILED TONY OPORTO, THE BOOKING AGENT AT THE CLUB AND CC'D ME.)
*****************************************
Re: october 8th at elysium
Tue, November 10, 2009 3:30:27 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: Tony D'Oporto Cc: voltairenyc@yahoo.com
so why did i get kicked out the day of voltaire's show? i'm sorry, but i was busy trying to stand up for women's rights. i had to press charges in my defense on some jerk, missed school, and personal promotions, and would like an ounce of respect for it.
susan
******************************************
cupid's arrow
Tue, November 17, 2009 6:43:35 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltairenyc@yahoo.com
you cause me the most damning pain and sorrow. i wish i had never married that man that looked just like you for my love of you. i wish you were a real hero.
*******************************************
know me
Sun, November 22, 2009 2:32:24 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltairenyc@yahoo.com
your smile is like a vampire's relief, after a dark longing for a taste that cannot be breached. your wings are like that of a raven, but more than ten times the size. if i could come close with the beast, and relieve that pain from the wolves on his arm, then i could do anything. someone once told me that they had fallen to find true love, because their heart had been thrown away, and smashed into several peices. if i could, i would go out and find each and every one of those shards, and put them together. but each time i find those shards, they turn into rosepetals, and fly away in the wind.
your friend,
susan
*********************************************
homeless
Sun, November 29, 2009 7:31:19 PM
From: Susan Lee
]Add to Contacts To: voltaire voltaire
hey, i know i don't have a home, but i have enough to promote. can i become a groupie?
***********************************************
i'm very sorry
Fri, December 11, 2009 5:34:00 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltairenyc@yahoo.com
i don't know you personally, and i don't know your band members enough to assume their intentions. i am very sorry that i made assumptions. you say that things worth having take some time, and i wanted to show that i was a faithful woman to you because you were a good thing to me. it hurts that you were with someone else, and showed it like i wasn't there. i wish i could talk to you and show you good things, but you've been several miles away, and i can't express what goes one down here because you're so far away.
*************************************************
don't expect anything
Wed, December 16, 2009 1:52:57 PM
From: Susan Lee
Add to Contacts To: voltairenyc@yahoo.com
don't expect to come to any of my events, help on making money, jobs, or manicures. you're a lame excuse for an artist and know nothing of darkness. you better consider yourself lucky that you have parents, and everything else! and for the invocation of the Christ within myself i will have you ass burned in hell! my children and my people will come with me to the land of the ever living and you will be watched as you fry. you are a lying cheater, pervert, and fucking car thieving criminal, and you will be expedited. oh, and remember when i was your girl friend at seventeen and you found me drunk outside of your favorite club sitting next to that ugly fucker daemon, well, i got the certified copy of our marriage license and you are fucking divorced! just because you didn't tell me that you were in a band doesn't me that you'll get away with it! our children are safer without you! and that ugly bitch that cheated on you and had that beautiful sad, unkempt child would probably would probably be better without you too.
****************************************** *******************************************
And there you have it. It's stuff like this that makes a person really want to stop reading and respond to emails, but what can you do?
So now you know. If something happens to me the next time I'm in Austin, you'll know who it was.
Voltaire
